Choosing motherhood - A trip down memory lane to SICOT Congress Cairo 2023

Nariman Abol Oyoun
SICOT Active Member

 

 

 

 

Nariman Abol Oyoun takes us on a trip down her memory lane with highlights from her short talk at the SICOT Diversity Session at the 2023 SICOT Congress in Cairo.


I woke up one day in November 2023, having prepared myself to meet everyone at the SICOT Meeting in Cairo, to find a message from my good friend and active lady orthopedic surgeon, Dr. Dalal Bubshait. 

“Are you coming to SICOT?” She said. 

“Yes, with my daughter, J”. I replied. 

“That’s even better!” She answered. 

“???!!! What is this all about?”, I thought to myself. 

“We would like you to give a short talk at the SICOT Diversity Session about being an orthopedic surgeon and a mother”, she said. 

It was my great pleasure to say yes!

I couldn’t give the full experience, because my daughter is only four, but I was happy to share some of the overwhelming facts I had to deal with in those long four years. 

I love my job. I’m a proud orthopedic surgeon who enjoys every step in every long tiring surgery I do. I learn from every step I make along the way. Having secured my career and finished my postgraduate Master’s degree, my 24-month clinical fellowship at the AKK in Hamburg, Germany, my PhD, the European Board of Orthopedic Surgery, an 18-month research fellowship at CHOP, USA, I thought it was a good time to have a baby. 

Oh, I love my girl more than anything in the world! I’m a proud mother of a lovely girl, and it’s my unwavering intention to bring her up the best way I could. Now it’s time to sit and talk about how I’m going to do both!

Let’s face it! Orthopedic surgery is just another job… except that it comes with 24-hour shifts, year-long studies for board exams and other career-improving certificates, all that in the face of a social inclination towards expecting failure from a lady in the tough field of orthopedic surgery. 

Before having a baby, picking the right time is challenging. Early pregnancy is great, except that it could be a huge distraction to the young evolving surgeon who needs every bit of her attention to learn and progress in the field. Mid-career pregnancy is also a good option with an interruption at the peak of one’s performance and the hard part being already behind you. However, it’s not so easy because one’s physical strength is less than in her twenties. Biology may not really favor late-in-career pregnancies but still a viable option with diverse innovative technologies available. 

Good! To prepare for pregnancy, a stress-free environment is ideal ...…but does that even exist?!

Ok, so develop good stress-coping mechanisms, get enough sleep, get proper nutrition, take your vitamins! These are very important for a healthy reproductive life, so GOOD LUCK!

During pregnancy, there are regular health-related difficulties and there is possible/accidental exposure to irradiation, because even if one is careful, accidents do happen. Guilt keeps nagging until the healthy baby is born. 

After the baby is here, oh dear, it turns out, orthopedic surgery was easy!!

Now questions and decisions abound: maternity leave, short or long? Are you a sole mother? Can grandparents help? Are daycare centers available (a challenge during the COVID-19 pandemic)?. The baby grows into a child in his/her golden years that shape his/her personality. Is Mommy there?

Thinking of getting another child? Are we following up on their education? Are we there at the hard times and the fun times? Lots and lots of questions, most answers still unclear. 

Here’s my view of the matter:

  • It’s the right of every working woman to choose to be a mother. 
  • ⁠It’s hard for any working mother to battle on all fronts. 
  • ⁠Female orthopedic surgeons are not expected to succeed by many of their male colleagues. Some of them do fall off the grid, overwhelmed by the difficulties and eventually choose their kids over their future as surgeons. 
  • ⁠The farther we get through our careers, hopefully with success, the easier it is to achieve balance, because deeper into our careers comes greater responsibilities, but less labor work. 


Good luck to every working mother around the globe!

 


At the SICOT Congress Cairo 2023

At the Baltimore Deformity Course 2018 with Tanyawat Saisongcroh (Thailand) and friend

SICOT/CHOP Research Fellowship 2013-2014